Would You Trade That Heart Of Gold For A Minute In My Skin?

I'm Wasting My Days, I Throw Them Away.

Loosing It All On These Sick Little Games.

LOL. Not really. I can't stop listening to Nothing Personal. xD

Okay, serious note. From Tomorrow, I will not be online until August 1st since I'm spending 2 weeks in the south of France. I'll come back a lobster. :| Yeah, not good.

I am taking my laptop and memory stick so, if the inspriation rises, I shall write for you all and update when I return. I may even have internet for one week. :O SHOCK HORROR.

HOWWILLILIVEEEEEE?!

LOL. I shall find a way my friends. So, anyways, I just wanted to tell you that I won't be able to read your updates, see your pictures, comment on anything, reply to notes.

SO SORRY.

Remember, I love you all. But then, this holiday may rule. xD

GOODBYE MY CHILDREN!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

FUCK.

YES.

ALL TIME LOW.

UK TOUR.

CARDIFF.

SUNDAY 4TH OCTOBER.

I GET TO GO.

I GET TO SEE THEM.

FINALLY.

AND GIVE THEM PRESENTS.

Rian Dawson gets: http://www.newlook.co.uk/1690061/169006140/ProductDetails.aspx

Alex Gaskarth gets: http://www.newlook.co.uk/1696954/169695410/ProductDetails.aspx

Jack Barakat gets: http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=40&viewAllFlag=false&catalogId=17551&storeId=12555&categoryId=40705&parent_category_rn=38973&productId=971702&langId=-1

Zack Merrick gets: http://www.peacocks.co.uk/Menswear/Tops/Printed_T-Shirts/GREY_MR_STRONG_T-SHIRT_-46218012.html Orrrrr, we're making him a shirt saying. 'IT IS ILLEGAL FOR ME TO WEAR A SHIRT.' Opinions?

You have no idea how excited am I. :)

Hey! This story seems to drain all my imagination! xD But I love writing it. So cool. Hope you like it guys.

Hear me say
Don't throw me away
There's no way out
I gotta hold you somehow
All I wanna do is touch you
I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you
You wanna touch me too
Everyday but all I have is time
Our loves the perfect crime

I Wanna: The All-American Rejects

*Alex POV*

Last night kept replaying over and over again in my head. I couldn't look at Lisa the same way I used to after I just lied to her face. After she cheated on me, I knew life would be hard with her but when Lisa was in the room, I didn't notice anyone else. No one could even compare to her. Obviously, the guy, Issac his name was, thought the same. He worked in the local bar and Rian had always has his suspicions about her, but I ignored him. He then came round one night. The night I found out.

"Alex, you have to come with me! It's Lisa!" Rian yelled, pulling my arm out the door. "I'll be back for dinner mom!" I yelled before kicking the door shut. "What's wrong? Is she okay?" I asked in a blind panic. He didn't say anything as he dragged me down the street to Lisa's place. "Rian, will you tell me what the fuck is go..." I saw the car. "Take a look." He whispered. I raised my eyebrows and put my hand against the window and glanced in. There was my girlfriend making out with another guy, not only that either. They were having sex. I inhaled sharply and kicked the car. They stopped but I was already storming away. Rian ran with me, but we didn't last long. "What the fuck dude?! You fucking watching us you sick fuck?" The guy yelled from the car. "Leave it Alex." Rian said calmly. It didn't work. "Maybe because you were fucking my girlfriend!" I yelled back, walking towards him. "Lisa, who is this clown?" Lisa, buttoning up her shirt came out of the car and went straight to him. She saw me and jumped off him. "Alex! Baby! This isn't what it looks like!"

"I know what the hell I saw Lisa!" She looked at me, then back at this dude, then back at me before running to me. She started smothering me in hugs, crying her eyes out, claiming it was a mistake, Issac was a one-time thing. I wanted to believe her, I really did. So I took her into my arms and brought her home for dinner. We didn't mention it again. Rian didn't let it rest but after a year, he saw how much we wanted it to work so he didn't bring it up either. But, since then, whenever I played a show away she called me straight after, made sure I wasn't off screwing a fan girl. I never would. I loved too much, but then this girl gets into my car and my life changed.

She just opened my eyes wider than any other girl I knew, including Lisa. Even though I was sleeping next to Lisa, my arms wrapped around her, her hair across my pillow, her clothes on my floor, I craved for someone else. SHUT UP DIRTY THOUGHTS. SHE'S UNDERAGE. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU THAT WAY. SHE DOESN'T.

*Grace POV*

I always got up early at home, just to think about things. "Ow, my freaking head." I heard a guy say as he stumbled into the kitchen. I turned around and saw Jack holding the door frame. "Oh, sorry, did I wake you with my throwing up?" He asked, chuckling. I shook my head and smiled. "I could murder a cup of coffee." He muttered under his breath, walking over to the kettle. "Don't ever drink sweetheart. It's horrible and bad and painful." I laughed and hopped off my stool, taking the kettle from him. "Go sit down, I'll make you a coffee." He smiled gratefully and rubbed my shoulders briefly. He watched me and shuffled around the kitchen, finding milk, sugar, coffee before presenting to Jack. "Thanks babe." He said, smiling. "It's okay Jack." He took a sip. "Ahhh." He sighed warmly. "This is one good cup of coffee." I chuckled and went to sit next to him.

"So, Grace, what you doing up so early?" I shrugged. "Lisa came into my room late last night, I've been restless since." He choked on his coffee. "Oh god, sorry." I said, rubbing his back. "Where is she now?" I looked down. "With Alex. I think they're in his room." He drew a sigh of relief. "Oh god. Thank fuck for that." I smiled weakly. He looked at me. "I assume you know then what happened." I nodded. "Yup. She's defiantly paranoid."

"That's putting it nicely honey. Very nicely." I chuckled quietly. "It's true! She scares me now. She used to be so cool and now, she's messed up." I nodded. "Very." He smiled at me, tucking my hair behind my ear. "So what are you doing up?"

"I like the quiet." I answered simply. He nodded. "You seem like a quiet type of a person." I smiled. "That a bad thing?" He laughed, ruffling my hair. Was it me or was he being extra touchy feely? "Nah, quite cute actually." I gulped as he took another sip of his coffee. No doubt, Jack was attractive but when I left, I wasn't looking for any form of commitment. Friendship: No. Relationship: No way.

"You're so young Grace, and I'm scared that you don't live with your parents. Almost like you ran away." I gulped. "So?" He gulped, twirling my hair around his long index finger. "I care about you, I really do." He said quietly as he turned my stool around to face him. "Jack..." Before I could finish, his lips were attached to mine. Nothing forceful at all, just soft and sincere. His thin lips were just touching mine, like he was trying to protect me.

Before I knew it, I was being pulled away by someone. "Jack, what the hell?" I heard Alex hiss. So he was the one pulling me away. "Alex, sorry. It was an impulse thing." He shook his head and pulled me back to my room and then his mood changed. He held my hand instead of my wrist, and looked at me. "Sorry about him, he's hung-over." I nodded, tasting Jack on my lips. "I feel very protective of you Grace." I sighed. "Alex, you saw Lisa earlier. She's protective you."

"Grace, listen, I feel things for you I shouldn't." I stared at him. "Then don't feel them. We said, last night, that we wouldn't mention this." He bit his bottom lip. "I won't tell her if you don't." I stared at him, before slapping him. "I think it's time I left." I whispered, grabbing my back pack. "Grace, I know about people like you." He said, grabbing my arm. "You've been through hell and back. You don't trust anyone anymore. You feel like the worlds against you. Everything you loved is just dark and awful. But this, what we have, friendship, whatever you want to call it, isn't bad." I was shaking, on the brink of crying. I still couldn't look at him.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Okay Bronx, okay." Grace soothed, lifting the small crying boy into her arms. She rocked him, humming him a small section of any song she could think of.  He shut his small brown eyes and absentmindedly snored lightly. She smiled, carrying him downstairs where Laura and Jessica-Rose were still asleep. She laughed and went through to the kitchen, grabbing the phone. She quickly dialled Pete's number and waited for an answer. "Hello?" A male voice croaked. She smiled. "That bad last night huh?"

"You don't want to know babe." Patrick replied. Grace chuckled. "Aw, what happened? Gabe take you to a strip club?" She teased as Patrick laughed. "I'll tell you tomorrow." Tomorrow made them both smirk widely. Their wedding day. "My head really hurts." He complained. "Well, if you drank so much. What did expect?" She questioned, putting Bronx's formula in the microwave. "I don't know. I haven't been that drunk in a long time."

"Oh god, what did you do? Hang on, what did everyone else do?" Grace questioned, holding the phone between her shoulder and head feeding Bronx with the warmed milk. Patrick laughed, which made his head throb. "Um, I remember Brendon..." Okay, made he should keep that one private. "...doing something stupid. Adam got drunk and insulted someone. I ended up handcuffed and to be honest, I don't remember much more."   Grace sighed, chuckling lightly. "At least you had fun I suppose." Patrick dragged his hand through his hair. "How was your evening?" He asked, chuckling slightly. Grace's eyes widened. "You bloody well knew that they were taking me out didn't you?" She accused. "Maybe." She sighed, putting the bottle down on the counter. "I hate you sometimes Stump." He laughed, massaging his temples. "They said they'd castrate me if I told you anything."

"Jesus, you're lucky I don't castrate you myself." Grace complained, but keeping her voice down so she didn't cause more pain. "You wouldn't do that anyway." He threatened. "Just try me." Grace said seriously. Patrick laughed nervously. "Oh, um, Jess is here, I assume that's who's after?"  She rolled her eyes and sighed a response. "Yes." Patrick quickly handed the sober woman the phone. "Jess, I hate you." Grace muttered, putting the bottle in the sink. "Good morning to you too." She replied sarcastically. "Hey, I had to put with two very drunk women last night, and three children." Grace added. "I had to sleep next to Pete. Don't try and make me feel sorry for you." Grace chuckled. "Okay, you win."

"Damn right I do. I also have all the guys draped all over my house. Not a pretty sight let me tell you." Grace giggled. "Anyways, is Bronx okay?"

"He's fine, I was wondering when you were gonna pick him up?" Jess sighed. "Well, I'm going to kick my lazy husband's fine ass out of bed and he'll come and pick him up in about an hour." Grace nodded. "Alright. I'm going to sober up these two, then I don't know. Stress about the wedding tomorrow." Jess laughed, but in a comforting way. "Trust me, you'll be fine. If Pete and I can make it down an aisle, you guys can."

"True, I'll see you tomorrow." Jess smiled. "See you."  She replied before hanging up. She stormed to the bottom of the stairs. "PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ! GET YOU LAZY ROCKSTAR ASS OUT OF THAT BED AND GO COLLECT YOUR SON FROM GRACE." The bassist moaned and unconsciously threw a pillow at the door. Since Jess got no response, she hopped up the stairs and stared at her husband. With a sigh, she yanked the duvet off his body revealing his nudity. She quickly got a glass of water from the bathroom and poured the icy water over Pete's head and back. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" He yelled, sitting up suddenly before falling back onto the wet pillows, grasping his head. "Ow." He complained.

Jess rolled her eyes. "Pete, go get Bronx from Grace's. Then you can shift everyone outta here." Jess ordered, throwing clothes in his direction. "You're such a bitch this morning." He whispered under his breath, moving the jeans off his face. Jess smiled and sat down on the bed. "Do you need a coffee before you go?" Pete smirked and nodded, which made his head thump. "Well Starbucks is open." Pete shook his head as slowly as possible. "What did I do last night?" He asked, knowing that there had to be a reason for Jess's mood. "You came home with Patrick in handcuffs, puked all over the bathroom then thought I was Ryland. Next question?" Pete bit his lip. "Want anything from Starbucks?"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Melody, stop poking Bronx. Freddie, give Aunt Jessica back her police hat. Give me a break guys, please?" Grace continually complained, still flooding coffee into her friends. Strong, black coffee. "My head hurts so much." Laura whined, lying her head on the counter. Jessica was calmer, drowning coffee, taking pills and a hot towel over her forehead. "Laura, stop your whining and take the goddamned pills." Jessica snapped. "Sorry, I can't. I'll throw up everywhere."

"Hasn't stopped you before." Grace murmured under her breath as the doorbell rang. "Oh, shut up Grace." Laura replied. Grace opened up the door, and Pete was there clutching a Starbucks take-out. "Nice shades Pete." Grace joked. He laughed once, sarcastically. "Want your son then?" He nodded, taking a large gulp of his latte. "Come in. Oh hi Brendon, what are you doing here?"

"He needed the company." Grace nodded and led both men into the lounge. "Alright, here he is." Grace cooed, picking him up. Pete took the baby and laid him against his chest. "Thanks for taking care of him." Grace shrugged, pulling up the sleeve of her cardigan. "Take care of yourselves. No drinking tonight." She ordered. "I can assure, no one will even touch the alcohol in my house tonight..."

"Unless she comes and arrests me." Brendon added, pointing to Jessica. She turned around, flipping him off. "I may be hung-over Urie but I'm not that easy." She hissed. "Feisty." Brendon noted, smiling. "I like that in a girl." Grace rolled her eyes and ushered the two men out of the room, opening the front door for them. "Brendon?" The man turned around, smiling. "She's high maintenance just so you know." He winked confidently and left, helping Pete take Bronx home. She shut the door when the SUV left her drive.  She rubbed her stomach as it kicked lightly beneath her hand. And another. Then two kicks at once. She raised her eyebrows, thinking that her child was suddenly a gymnast.

You may have heard already. You most likely have. The Panic at the Disco we all knew, loved and thanked are not who they used to be. No matter how hard we try, we cannot force them back together, only encourage then in newer things. I have alot to thank Panic for, and when I heard Jon Walker and Ryan Ross were leaving, I thought it was a sick joke. But I checked online, their website comfirmed my worst fears, from both sides of the line.

Ryan Ross and Jon Walker will be leaving Panic at the Disco to embark on a musical excursion of their own. Though the four of us have made music together in the past, we've creatively evolved in different directions which has compromised what each of us want to personally achieve. Over the years, we have remained close and honest with each other, which helped us to realize that our goals were different and that parting ways is truly what is best for each of us. We are all excited for the future, you should be too.

-Ryan & Jon

We just wanted to let you know, that the news of Ryan and Jon leaving the band is unfortunately true. It's been an amazing journey being in a band with them, but sometimes individual tastes take friends in different directions and you can't ignore it. They are some of the most talented guys we know, and we're sure that whatever they do next will be great. That said, Panic At The Disco is alive and very very well. We are working on new songs that we are excited for you to hear. Our dates
with Blink and Fall Out Boy start in a little less than a month, and we wouldn't miss those for the world. We know everybody has a lot of questions at this point with everything being so out of the blue, most of those should be answered in the coming weeks. We appreciate every one of you, and hope you continue with us on this incredible ride.

Pay attention we have a surprise in store for you.

-Brendon and Spencer

What can I say? I'm shocked, sad, angry, empty, scared, disappointed and every other emotion inbetween. No matter what happens, both new bands will one fan. I'll support all four of you, no matter what the future holds. I admit, I was depressed and cried when I heard, but we have to let them move on. Support them. Thank you for all you've done. You're songs have help to mould who I am. I guess we're all too small to talk to god. We understand that you have to put out the lantern so we can find our own way back home. I guess boys will be boys. We'll face this with poise and rationalitly. I guess the artist's these aren't who you think. But in time, we'll all forget and grow.

Thank you Panic. For everything.

If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelry to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me

And then she said she can't believe
Genius only comes along
In storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely

The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at both feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me

Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
[x3]

Sugarcane (hey moon) in
(Hey moon) the easy mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my
(Hey moon) one and lonely

Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely

I guess this moon has gone down for Panic at the Disco.

Let's hope the sun shines on whatever happens next.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I really am. I've been feeling unimaginitve recently, but I'm get back into this now. :) Sorry for the wait.

I've got a secret
Please don't repeat it
I took the chemicals we took to make our chemistry
And I remixed it
It didn't fix it
All it did was make our memories a blur to me

Doctor: Cute Is What We Aim For

*Alex POV*

What the fuck was I doing? Sensible, sober Alex was saying: What the fuck are you doing man? Are you aware that you're kissing a fucking minor? You could get put in jail if anyone saw this. Irrational, drunk Alex was saying:  Who gives a fuck, one kiss isn't gonna hurt. Back to sensible: Stop it now you stupid mother fucker. I leapt away, resulting in me falling off the end of the bed. I banged my head, hard, against the wooden desk before landing fully on the carpeted floor. "Mother fucker!" I yelled holding my head as I sat up. Grace had hopped off the bed and rushed to my side. "Oh my god, are you alright?"

"Do I look fucking alright?!" I yelled at her, keeping my hand against the back of my head. She winced but still knelt there. "Sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you like that." I sighed a few seconds later. She smiled weakly. "It's okay; do you want me to check you out?" She asked, pointing to where my hand was. "Okay, you have a medical degree I don't know about?" I asked sarcastically, shuffling so she could get the back of my head. She chuckled and took my and away. "No, I normally patched my brother back home. He'd, like, always get into fights and stuff with other kids." She winced for me as she looked. "You're bleeding, so I'm gonna get a towel and stuff to clean up the cut with." I nodded, putting my hand back over the gash on my hand.

She was back in a matter of minutes with crap I didn't even know we had in the house, let alone know how to use. She knelt back down behind me, so I leaned my back against her knees. I moved my hand away and let her loose at the back of my head. She cleaned it, which made me wince and bit my lip so hard I seriously thought I was going to bite it off. She then washed my sticky, bloody hair between a towel, rubbing it to try and get most of the blood out. "It's just a small cut. Trust me, you'll be okay." She reassured me. I nodded, rubbing the back of my head. "Thanks." I said, turning back around to face her. "Listen about that kiss..." I started. She sighed, putting the towel on the ground. "I know you have a girlfriend, so if you don't want to mention it then we won't. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have kissed you..." I covered her mouth with my hand, chuckling and shaking my head. "Okay a, I really don't want to mention it to Lisa and b, I shouldn't have kissed back. It takes two to tango you know."

She smiled a little and nodded. "Right." I sighed, standing up. "I have to go check on these drunks downstairs, you alright?" I asked, ruffling her hair. She nodded, looking down at the suddenly interesting towel. I didn't wanna leave but if they woke up, I'd better be there. With a sad smile, I opened the door and shut it, jogging down the stairs.

*Grace POV*

I slapped my forehead with the heel of my hand and fell back onto the floor. How could have I been so freaking stupid? I FUCKING KISSED HIM. I am such a horrible, terrible, unmoral slut of a person. Just like he said. He was so right about me; I did deserve all that shit. I rubbed my eyes hard and sat back up, sighing. I inhaled sharply and dragged my fingers through my hair, staring at the wall. No. He wasn't right about me. I didn't deserve anything he did to me, none of it at all. Like Alex had said, it takes two to tango. He was as much to blame as I was. I jumped up and straightened out my clothes before cleaning up the towel and medical stuff I used on Alex's head.

I did re-lock my door, in case one of Alex's drunk friends or Alex just walked in. I decided to crawl back into my bed, officially giving up for the evening. I couldn't be bothered to change into different clothes to sleep in so I just kicked off my jeans a slipped under the covers. I buried my head into the pillow before punching either side of it beside my head. This was gonna be a hell of a long night.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I didn't know how long I'd managed to be a sleep for but when I heard my door open, exposing the light from the hallway. A girl screamed. "I knew it!" I sealed my eyes shut, but she grabbed my wrist with her sharp nails and hauled me out of bed. My wrist stung. I think she almost opened a wound. "What the hell?" I asked, squinting my eyes to get less light in my eyes. "You know exactly what I mean you little slut." She hissed at me. "Lisa, please. We're not sleeping together." A male voice reasoned, it had to be Alex. "Then why the hell is she here, half naked Alex?!" She yelled in response. "She's staying here for a while Lisa! Nothing is going on between us!" He yelled back. "Why the hell is she staying here then?" Alex sighed, shutting his eyes. "A found her a few days ago, on the side of the freeway. She ran away from home and I couldn't just leave her out there to freeze."

Lisa stared at me, taking deep breaths. "Is this true?" She asked me, obviously still furious. I nodded my head. She nodded hers too. "Sorry to wake you." She said with no emotion. "It's alright." I replied quietly. Alex nodded, putting his arm around Lisa's waist and escorting her out of the room. I took some deep breaths after he had shut the door. So that was Lisa. She was really insecure about Alex then. One thing scared me though; Alex said that nothing was going on between us. Was he convincing her or himself? After a few minutes of thinking, someone knocked on door before opening it. Alex's friendly smile welcomed me as he came and sat down on my bed. "Sorry about her. She's... protective." He whispered. "She's scared about you cheating on her you mean?" He forced a small, single laugh. He obviously didn't think it was funny. "Scared is putting it mildly to be honest. Ever since she fucked that dude..."

"Whoa, wait." I interrupted. "She cheated on you?" I almost squeaked. He nodded, his lips curving into a sarcastic smile. "Yeah, she did. And she's scared I'll do the same to get my own back." I nodded picking the blanket over my legs. "That kiss wasn't to get my own back okay?" He reassured. "Then what was it?" I asked. Okay, I was never this confident. "I'm not worth your time." He replied. I didn't look at him and just focused on my suddenly interesting blanket. "I wrote a song about you, y'know?" He said. I stared at him. "Really?" He smiled and nodded. "It's not finished. But I'll let you hear it when it is." I nodded. He kissed my forehead before leaning his on mine. I was desperate to kiss him but he left before I did. Suddenly I was left alone. Confused and unwillingly falling for someone.